The most accurate description of the pain of bereavement, that I have found so far, is  that the pain is caused by "love that has nowhere to go".

I'm no stranger to this. I lost my wife to Hodgkin lymphoma when she was just 34.  That hurt. It felt as if my guts had been ripped out.  I had a desperate desire to feel loved by her, and to send my love to her, but I couldn't.   So believe me when I say that I understand your pain.

Yet, when my mother died 18 months prior to this, despite it being one of the closest parental relationship's you could wish for, I just didn't need to grieve.  If you don't understand this next statement, please read the evidence for a continued consciousness, which is the evidence for continued existence, but I couldn't feel sad for her as I knew she was going to a better place.  I knew she was going to be happy. There was no loss of love.

The difference between the two was that I felt that I had lost the love of my wife before she died. 

Losing a person who is involved in every day of your life and your future plans is particularly hard, and grief is very individual, but the core of the pain is about loss of love.

Current thinking in bereavement counselling is to talk about a continued connection, but many perhaps only think of this as an abstract concept and not a reality.

So please read the overwhelming evidence about consciousness not being a product of the brain, and investigate it as much as you can.  I think you'll find it of great comfort.

Please understand that it is a process which has recognised stages.  It's common to go through, numbness, shock, denial,  then anger and despair, until in time acceptance takes over to a degree where you can at least move on and be happy again.  You'll still miss them, but when the grieving stops, the loving memories can begin.

My approach with grieving is to present all the facts.  There is so much literature out there that can help you realise that there is no loss of love, and the connection is still there in real terms.   It is just the physical presence that has been lost, and the ease of communication.

If you read about how Mediums communicate, you will discover that lower activity  is registered in parts of their brain when communicating or in trance.

Hypnosis can help do the same.

So, with the permission of the client, I will ask them to invite their loved one to come and talk to them.  A surprising number feel that the communication was real, and their grief lessens, and I believe the whole bereavement process can be greatly eased by this approach and can lead to a feeling of great joy.

I would also recommend going to see a Medium.

Christine Mathews is, in my opinion, one of the best Mediums in the South West.  Spiritualist Centres and Churches also do private readings.

As a hypnotherapist, to help people ease their grief is one of the most rewarding things I do.  It gives me great pleasure to be a part of their healing.

So if you need help, and are comfortable with this approach, please book a free consultation with me.

See my dedicated page